Muhasabah Malam #1

Muhasabah Cinta 

Wahai pemilik nyawaku

Betapa lemah diriku ini

Berat ujian dariMu

Ku pasrahkan semua pada-Mu

Tuhan baru ku sedar

Indah nikmat sihat itu

Tak pandai aku bersyukur

Kini ku harapkan cintaMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah

Mengalir berzikir di kidung doaku

Sakit yang ku rasa biar jadi penawar dosaku

Butir-butir cinta air mataku

Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku

Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini

Ya Ilahi muhasabah cintaku

Tuhan kuatkan aku

Lindungiku dari putus asa

Jika ku harus mati

Pertemukan aku denganMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah

Mengalir berzikir di kidung doaku

Sakit yang ku rasa biar jadi penawar dosaku

Butir-butir cinta air mataku

Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku

Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini

Ya Ilahi muhasabah cintaku

-Edcoustic-

Cinta kerna Mu ya Allah

BUAT AKU JATUH CINTA PADAMU,,

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Wahai kau yang kan menjadi pasangan tulang rusukku….
Dengan sebuah cinta tulus karena Illahi Robbi

bukan dengan harta atau parasmu..
bukan dengan buaian untaian kata-kata manismu..
bukan dengan perhatianmu padaku karena kau belum halal bagiku..

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan indahnya akhlak n budi pekertimu,
Melabuhkan cintamu pada Allah melebihi cintamu padaku..
Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu dengan ajak aku berlomba dalam sebuah kebaikan,
Teguh dengan jihad yang kau tegakkan berikan semangat berjuang menegakkan Islam.

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan Menjadi sosok pribadi tegar, menghadapi ujian kehidupan..
Ikhlas N sabar atas teguran yang Allah berikan.
Selalu ingatkan aku jika niat tulus mulai pudar
agar semakin menguatkan aku pada jalan istiqomah.

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan sikapmu yg Selalu merindui syahid di jalan Illahi.
Pantang bagimu berpaling dari hati Ya Robbul Izzati.
Tunjukkan bahwa dirimu menautkan hatimu pada Illahi.
agar tidak terjatuh dalam jurang cinta nafsu duniawi.

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan cintaimu kepada Allah karena Dia adalah segalannya.
Kau buat dirimu mampu korbankanlah apa saja karenaNya.
Kau jadikan kecintaan pada Tuhan adalah yang utama,Kau mampu menderita demi kecintaanmu padaNya.

Ketika kecintaan itu hadir sebuah karunia indah bisa mendapatkannya… kecintaan kepada Allah adalah sebenar-benarnya cinta…
yang tulus ikhlas memberikan cinta tanpa berharap ia akan terbalaskan…
jika sebuah hubungan didasari kecintaan karena Allah maka ia akan
senantiasa indah…

Allah Berfirman Dalam Al-Quran:
“…Allah mencintai mereka dan
mereka pun mencintai-Nya
…”(Q.s. Al-Maidah 5:54).

Ya Allah, yang membolakbalikan
hati kami ,selama ini hamba memang tidak
pernah tau bagaimana rasanya mencinta.
Namun, hamba berharap bila cinta hadir menyapaku ,hamba tidak akan kehilangan
engkau.

Ya Allah, selama ini hamba hanya berharap semoga bisa mencintai orang yang memiliki cinta yang luar biasa kepada- MU.

Ya Allah, selama ini hamba juga berharap semoga bisa di cintai oleh orang yang bisa
mengarahkanku menuju keridhoan-MU.
Pintaku ya Allah izinkan hamba
memiliki rasa ini hingga ia menjadi
indah di dada kami tanpa
mengurangi rasa cinta kami
kepadaMU..Aamiin..

# dipetik drpd Istikharah Cinta Facebook

Book Review : The Language of Flowers

beautiful, absorbing and solitary. 

by vanessa diffenbaugh.

i love this book. so much. it is so lovely of about everything inside of it. 

and as a woman, i have a high tendency toward flowers. this book help me to recognize different types of flowers and their meaning based on victorian language of flowers. how captivating and sensible right? these are some of the meanings for the usual flowers in malaysia.

bougainvillea - passion

cactus - ardent love

red carnation - my heart breaks

chrysanthemum - truth

daisy - cheerfulness

dahlia - dignity

fern - sincerity

fuchsia - humble love

hibiscus - delicate beauty

lavender - mistrust

lily - majesty

mistletoe - i surmount all obstacles

moss - maternal love

red rose - love

pomegranate - foolishness

periwinkle - tender recollections

sounds nutty right? but, it seems really nice. 

victoria jones is a homeless orphan that kept moving in and out of foster family's houses. this book reveal her story towards finding her own self-esteem to face the world and not forget, love.

such a good book for a ready-to-overwhelm with flowers-mind. one of my favorite book ever.

=)

Abah

after a maghrib and hajat prayer, we sat together to recite yasin for imran's becoming upsr examination. and to my surprise, before abah began the yasin, he said something that touched my heart so well. he prayed to Allah and hoped that He will make ease all affairs and matters regarding our family. and i never heard that abah prayed like that before. and he even said the name of each one of us (his children) for about 3 times.

these have the explanation to the somber and gloomy atmosphere that my family had lately, regarding on too many things. that''s why abah pulled off his gut to said that, and i know it sounds bitter in his heart. he kept following the flow of everything and he is one of the toughest man i ever met in my life. 

despite kakji's tension on her english exam and push-on-working, imran's big exam, amar's faraway, and iqah's frustrated matter, i tried my best for not having any matter and problem so that abah and umi no need to kalut-kalut to think about me. 

and i was way less expressive now that before, as i am growing up and finds my own maturity to tackle with situations. all i can do is pray to Allah and hoping the best will be to this family. 

i am so sad and i feel uncomfortable for looking at abah's face expression and gesture every time problems arise. and i know that abah will always try his best to serve for the family although himself don't have the courage that much. he even ask for holiday from his work. and i hope that iqah will remember these hard times of abah and umi so that she would study hard for all of us.

abah, please be strong cause i know you will be stronger than any of us in my family. thank you so much abah, i love you! <3

Quick Events Review

a new semester is coming tomorrow. oh how i wish i can prolong this holidays. 3 months are too short and too fast.

what i had done for the past 3 months? thinking back that actually i have did many and many things and alhamdulillah my holiday is as meaningful as it should be. 

1. i worked as a kindergarten teacher in pusat asuhan tunas-tunas islam
2. i had finished my driving license and already got p license
3. my community service swied12 is a complete success
4. a month of ramadhan full of blessing
5. glorious raya celebration with beloved relatives
6. and and not forget the good examination result despite all the hurdles and hardships i faced last semester.

not that bad right? : )

6 Daisy with Cikgu Fuza

Baktisiswa Sciencess With Kedahan 2012

Raya celebration 2012

Unsaid

what you wanna do when all these years you felt that love is like hell and you believed that no one will ever love you sincerely until you die?

what you wanna do when you hated yourself for always giving up your life and everything in order to search for the perfect love to happen?

what you wanna do when suddenly you met a good guy and you used to like him and he said that he likes you too while actually you are having big tremendous fight with your loved one?

what you wanna do when all these years you are growing up as someone who believes that a good pious man is the only guy that can give you happiness in world and hereafter?

what you wanna do when you wanted soooo much to know the answer but you still can't get the answer although you already seek for many people?

what you wanna do when you realized that the good pious man is an easily-tempered guy and a kelantanese guy? (which my whole family don't like these kelantanese men)

what you wanna do when you are getting confused with yourself and you own ambitions throughout the ''thinking time''?

what you wanna do when you are asked by the man to wear purdah and jubah after you marry? and you realized how would you work with those clothes on your body? and you ever dreams of bungee jumping before.

what you wanna do when your mom actually tell you that you have to wait for the man to have career, car and house before he come membawa pinangan? which means many years. will you still contact the man throughout the years?

what you wanna do when your mom did said that quit any serious relationship at this university level, and be only friend with all guys so that you will know their true colours? but the man didn't allow it. and he even questioned why you approve some guys on facebook. and he even hated when guys keep posting on your wall. does this means that he loves you?

what you wanna do when your father told you that although the man want to marry you, he still cannot contact you privately. he can only come to your house to ask for merisik only. and he only can contact you if there is any serious deal or appointment only.

what you wanna do if the man will stop contacting you if only you get stop contact with all guys in your life? even your best male friends?

what you wanna do when you actually realized that your life would be such a mess and different from all you ever wanted before if you marry him? and even right now you can sniff the tense in you life when dealing with him?

what you wanna do when  yourself is saying NO but when you use your brain and your heart, the answer is totally mixed up?

what you wanna do when you wanna say no to him but you think of that there will no good man after this that will come to you and no one can ever bring you to jannah? oh gosh, how come you get to believe that this only man can bring you to good ending of life?

what you wanna do when you don't know why you are soooo gelojohly into him and actually you started to fall in love with him in a half conscious way?

what you wanna do when you realized that he start to control you and will get angry easily on you time after time? and he is not understanding of how busy you are and how professional you wanna be? 

and when you think back, that in university you are actually a busy woman that keep organizing thing and joining many extreme and commitment-need activities? and if you still with him, the bigger percentage would be you are not allowed to join those things?

will you leave him after those things i have had questioned you?

and you actually almost giving up this thing. and you know that the man should get a very reserved pious girl that will follow his rules and words rather than the extreme young-at-heart you that always arguing about almost many things with him. is it because you are a debater? i don't know.

and i almost reach up my points, but i don't know why i still reconsider him in my mind. 

i'd been having a not-so-serious relationship with a kelantanese man before, and i found out that is was tiring.  and actually, this later one is tiring also but it is a bit different because i didn't think too hard about this now, got many other problems at home.

please. please tell me what you wanna do when you are in my shoes. cause i wanna think about this again before it wounds up seriously in my life. 

will you leave him or just give the chance to this relation to happen?

Good morning Cikgu Fuza!

Hye! 


You can call me Cikgu Fuza now. 


I am 21 and work at Pasti Ibnu-Khaldun in Balok, 100 steps from my home.


I go to work with my sister, Cikgu Jiha at about 7.45 am and reach there at 7.55 am.


We starts with usrah among teachers at 8.00 am , while the students keep coming to the school.


The class begin at 8.30 am and i will take attendant first.


The students will have recess at 10.00 am and continue learning at 10.40 am.


The class will end at 12.00 am and i will teach Iqra' to my students.


And after that, i will sweep the floor and tidy up the class and windows.


I go back home at about 1.30 pm.


This is what i do during my holiday. Lots of things i wanna tell about this job. But it would be post by post.


And overall i just wanna say that , i really love the kids. Very much. <3


They are too cute and i am so excited to communicate with them everyday and every seconds. Teehee.

Ni anak mat saleh, tapi believe me, anak melayu pun much more cuter!

=D