Abah

after a maghrib and hajat prayer, we sat together to recite yasin for imran's becoming upsr examination. and to my surprise, before abah began the yasin, he said something that touched my heart so well. he prayed to Allah and hoped that He will make ease all affairs and matters regarding our family. and i never heard that abah prayed like that before. and he even said the name of each one of us (his children) for about 3 times.

these have the explanation to the somber and gloomy atmosphere that my family had lately, regarding on too many things. that''s why abah pulled off his gut to said that, and i know it sounds bitter in his heart. he kept following the flow of everything and he is one of the toughest man i ever met in my life. 

despite kakji's tension on her english exam and push-on-working, imran's big exam, amar's faraway, and iqah's frustrated matter, i tried my best for not having any matter and problem so that abah and umi no need to kalut-kalut to think about me. 

and i was way less expressive now that before, as i am growing up and finds my own maturity to tackle with situations. all i can do is pray to Allah and hoping the best will be to this family. 

i am so sad and i feel uncomfortable for looking at abah's face expression and gesture every time problems arise. and i know that abah will always try his best to serve for the family although himself don't have the courage that much. he even ask for holiday from his work. and i hope that iqah will remember these hard times of abah and umi so that she would study hard for all of us.

abah, please be strong cause i know you will be stronger than any of us in my family. thank you so much abah, i love you! <3