Cinta Manusia

Manusia biasa sepertiku amat memerlukan kata2 semangat. Ini juga buat bacaan kawan2 tercinta.

• Jadikan cinta manusia sebagai jambatan atau perantaraan untuk kita meraih Cinta Allah.

• Kekurαngαn seseorg itu membezαkαn diα dengαn orang lαin , tαpi kαdαngkαlα kekurαngαn itu menyebαbkαn iα mempuyαi sαtu kelebihαn berbαnding orang lαin, nαmun sedαr αkαn kekurαngαn itu lebih bαik dαripαdα bαnggα αkαn kelebihαn. 

• Janganlah mencari isteri tapi carilah ibu bagi anak-anak kita. Janganlah mencari suami, tapi carilah ayah bagi anak-anak kita.

• Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kami hati yang lembut menuruti pengorbanan cinta Rasul dan Anbiya' kami. Jadikanlah dalam hati kami Kau yang paling dicintai, hingga pada apa yang Kau uji, kami tetap memilih-Mu sebagai cinta sejati. Jadikanlah apa yang Kau kurniakan daripada dunia, jika padanya kami letakkan rasa cinta, biarlah ia semakin menambah dekatnya kami, pada cinta-Mu yang hakiki.

• Jika jatuh hati kepada seseorang, pastikan dia akan angkat hati kita yang jatuh itu, bersihkan debuan di atasnya, dan simpan ia dengan baik.

• Perkahwinan itu bukan cerita si suami dan isteri sahaja, malah lebih berat dari itu. Perkahwinan itu hal suami isteri dengan Allah.

• Jangan suka mencari kesempurnaan seseorang tapi sebaliknya cintailah dia sebagai mana diri dia yang sebenarnya.

• Apabila kita betul-betul buat keputusan untuk mengahwini seorang wanita. Ujilah jatidirinya, kesabarannya, agamanya, serta kasih sayangnya. Kenali latar belakangnya secara luaran dan dalaman. Kemudian beristikharahlah.

• Dia marah awak lambat solat, Dia sayang awak. Dia tegur cara berpakaian, Dia takut orang lain tengok aurat awak. Inilah Suami awesome.

• Kalau betul kita SAYANG dia, tapi kita belum mampu JAGA dia, maka bangunlah berjaga di malam hari minta agar ALLAH jagakan dahulu dirinya untuk diri kita.

• Kepada pasangan suami isteri dan bakal isteri serta bakal suami , Belajar untuk keluarkan cinta suami/cinta isteri daripada hati ke genggaman dengan menyeru nama ya Quddus ya Jalil sambil berdoa supaya Allah mengeluarkan cinta manusia daripada hati ke genggaman, dan memasukkan cinta ya Waddud ke dalam jiwa.

• Jika kita marahkan dia jangan sampai tak nampak lagi kebaikannya. Jika kita menyukai dia jangan sampai tak nampak lagi keburukannya.

• Pilihlαh pαsαngαn yαng MAHU mendαlαmi AGAMA bukαn yαng sekαdαr tαhu αgαmα tαpi tidαk mαhu mendαlαmi, αpαlαgi mengαmαlkαn kerαnα yαng mαhu itu pαsti αkαn BERUSAHA yαng TERBAIK dαlαm membimbing keluαrgnyα demi REDHA ALLAH. Nαmun αlαngkαh bαiknyα αndαi bertemu yαng TAHU & MAHU :)

• ".. Wαnitα yαng meminαng seorαng lelαki yαng soleh itu bukαnnyα perempuαn yαng tidαk tαhu mαlu, tetαpi merekα wαnitα yαng tαhu αpα yαng merekα mαhu ..

• Siapa isteri anda? Dia ialah :

1. Anugerah Allah yg didatangkan untuk mencintai anda.
2. Teman dalam susah dan senang.
3. Teman untuk anda bergurau dengannya.
4. Insan yang melahirkan zuriat anda
5. Insan yg di lahirkan untuk anda menyintainya dan bermanja dengannya.
6. Pembantu anda dlm urusan rumahtangga.
7. Penasihat anda bila anda tersasar.
8. Penghibur dikala anda dukacita.

9. Perangsang anda dikala anda berputus asa.
10. Penyokong anda dikala anda ditinggalkan.
11. Pembela maruah anda.
12. pendinding anda dari Neraka Allah.
13. Pendorong anda kepada Syurga Allah.
14. Pelayan setia anda tanpa mengira waktu.
15. Perawat luka anda dikala anda terluka.

Dia lah wanita yg harus anda hargai.

Once Upon A Time

today i had felt two different feelings about two different things.

first thing is.

when i touched those hand socks bought by my mom, i felt different. and the feeling touched my heart so much. the feeling grew bigger and greater when i sought for my old collections of hand socks in the cupboard. and suddenly i felt so sad. so sad that i have totally changed myself.

as remembering those old memories in schools where i once was a good loyal muslimah girl. and i even got an honor from my school for having a very nice behavior. the award is Anugerah Akhlak dan Budi Pekerti Mulia. oh gosh. was it really happen before? =.='

second thing is.

i sought for my first semester lecture notes as in genetic course which i taking this semester, there are slight overview about null hypothesis, probability and chi square method which i learned maybe from biostatistic course that i'd taken during first semester. and guess what?

i found too many notes and i kept thinking on how hardworking i was. there were tonnes of self notes written by me and there are likely we were having discussion on the notes paper. me, maslin, iman and una. and i always wondering how i could get for biochemistry an A as it was a tough subject actually. and yes, i claimed that these words are true : Allah will help you by looking at your efforts and determinations. 

ohh and i remembered how disaster we were during final exam first semester. when studying calculus, maslin and i were craving like hell and clawing and scratching the wall for having no more guts to study. so terrible. and we survived luckily. alhamdulillah.

and why am i writing this? i'm not sure.

maybe actually silently in my heart i am hoping that i could change to be a better girl.

tapi, mampu ke?

nak jadi macam ni balik boleh tak? =(

Beza

Nukilan daripada hati keliru yang ingin berbicara.

Bezanya perhubungan atau lebih tepatnya lagi percintaan antara teman sebaya umur dan teman yg lebih tua.

Bila kau lagi muda, sesungguhnya otak kau akan jadi sangat kurang matang drpd dia. And dia terpaksa bersabar dgn kerenah kau yang macam budak2, yang tak serius, yang kuat gelak, and yang tak boleh nak capai akal pemikiran setahap dia.

Dan kau pula, sesungguhnya pasti akan selalu dimarahi kerna kurang keseriusan itu. Siapa yang boleh bersabar kalau orang yang kau sayang lepas ditegur beribu kali tetap buat benda yang sama. Sebab apa eh jadi macam tu? Sebab tak serius ke? Atau sebab tak cukup menyayangi? Mungkin si dia yang lagi tua itu menyayangi kau sepenuh hati tapi kau hanya sayang dia separuh hati. Sebab apa? Sebab si dia dah tua and mahu menjadikan kau isteri dan teman hidupnya, manakala kau pula masih tengah dalam zon permainan dan dunia ini sebagai cabaran yang harus diteroka.

Tapi, sebagai seorang yang masih kurang matang, aku sangat tak tahu macam mana nak jadi matang dengan cepat. Tapi, bukankan cukup kau sudah sayangi dia? Dan sesungguhnya, menjadi serius ialah sesuatu yang membosankan pada umur 21 tahun ini. Takkanlah muda2 lagi aku nak jadi serius macam orang tua? Nanti mesti muka cepat kedut2 kan? Nanti aku dengan dia nampak sebaya pulak, haha. Okay tak kelakar. Kena serius. Erkk.

Camana eh nak deal dengan benda ni? Aku obviously tak tahan sangat kalau kena marah. Asyik2 kena marah sebab buat silap. Kenapa aku asyik repeat kesilapan aku? Sebab aku tak ingat. Otak dan fikiran aku tak sampai tahap fikiran dia. Kadang2 rasa macam nak suruh dia tinggalkan aku je sebab tak boleh nak handle benda ni. Kesianlah kan dekat dia asyik kena bersabar je dengan aku. Nak2 pulak dia ni sebenarnya someone yang panas baran. Kalau dulu aku memang dah pernah reject dia sekali sebab dia pernah marah aku yang aku tak boleh nak terima langsung. Tapi sekarang dia dah berubah sikit2. Dia cuba control api kemarahan dia tu. And kalau dia marah kat aku, dia akan bagitawu *saya tengah marah kat awak ni*. And aku pun akan minta maaf and kitorang pun akan okay and then benda ni jadi balik berulang ulang kali.

Kadang2 bila happy tu rasa bersyukur sangat. Tapi bila dia sakit hati dengan aku, aku memang tak tahu nak buat apa. Minta maaf, aku ni memang tak reti nak pujuk orang. Dah la tak reti, lepas tu kalau dah try pujuk, mesti selalunya jadi worse lagi and i don’t know why. Perlu ke ada skill memujuk tu? Hurm. Tapi, if aku yang sakit hati dengan dia, aku cepat je recover sendiri. Sebab dah sayang kan, takkanlah nak marah lama2. Tapi aku jadi marah lama2 a.k.a merajuk bila dia marah aku and aku tak dapat nak terima, walaupun atas kesalahan aku sendiri or atas sebab gaya memujuk aku yang gagal itu. Mungkin dan sejak azali aku ni memang tak boleh kena marah. Kalau kena marah, samada aku akan menangis atau aku akan memberontak. Begitulah diriku.

Aku dengan dia ada banyak barrier yang harus dipecahkan. And kita bercakap tentang fikrah atau[un pemikiran. 1^st, pasal benda ni lah, yang dia lagi tua 4 tahun daripada aku. Sesungguhnya, dengan bertambahnya umur, bertambahlah pengalaman hidup. Dan dia seorang yang ada prinsip yang tiada sesiapa pun yang boleh ubah, even his parents i think. 2^nd, dia seorang pelajar maahad tahfiz yang semestinya ilmu agamanya lagi tinggi daripada aku dan sangat berpegah teguh dengan agama, no kompromi kalau bab2 agama ni. Walhal. aku ini memang sesungguhnya perempuan biasa yang tiada apa2 ilmu pun di dada. 

3^rd, dia berasal drpd kampung. Bukan aku nak cakap aku ni orang bandar sangat, tapi aku hidup berpindah randah and walaupun skrg aku duduk dekat kampung, i’m not so into the social community in here. Sebab apa? Panjang ceritanya. Jadi, konklusinya aku ni ada pemikiran orang bandar yg uptown girl tu dan dia ada pemikiran yg kurang bandarnya drpd aku. Eh aku tak kutuk orang yg duduk dekat kampung taw. Memang sebenarnya aku nak cari lelaki kampung kalau nak kahwin, sebab mungkin lagi sweet and lagi macam lelaki? , hehe. 4^th, dia seorang anak jati kelantan. Haa ada apa dengan kelantan? Ada macam2 lah. Lelaki kelantan ni memang terkenal di seantero malaysia dengan perangainya yang tersendiri. And aku pun tak pasti perangai apa and tak tahu macam mana nak describe. Tapi, memang tak semua anak laki kelantan berperangai begitu. Sebahagian besar je kot. And my parents obviously tak suka dengan these kelantanese men, because they have had enough experiences in their pasts kot.

Nampak tak barrier nya?

Kalau korang jadi aku, rasa macam susah tak? Ke nampak macam senang je, boleh tackle problem ni. Aku sejujurnya seikhlas hati mengatakan tidak mudah. Sangat tidak mudah. Dan untuk sampai ke tahap ini, aku rasa sangat banyak pengorbanan yang aku lakukan. Mungkin dengan kekuatan kata hati yang aku dapati selepas istikharah, aku tetap gagahi juga dugaan hidup yang mendatang antara kami. Mungkin dia juga serupa. Berusaha untuk mengekalkan jalinan yang telah terbina ini. Kerana sebenarnya kisah kami sebelum ini sangat panjang dan sangat penuh liku2. Si dia pernah mengatakan yang dia hanya mampu berdoa dan mengharapkan miracle yang terjadi antara kami, kerna pada masa itu telah terjadi satu keadaan yang memang tak dapat nak diselamatkan. It was like, we were screwed!

Namun, akan aku gagahi juga perjalanan ini selagi masih upaya dan selagi Allah berikan jalan. Kerna sesungguhnya kali ini amat berbeza. Berbeza daripada yang dahulu2. Komitmen dan sentiasa kena bertolak ansur jika hendak mendirikan masjid Allah. InsyaAllah dipermudahkan Allah.

If only

If only you could understand, i would stop being me.








How to say this to your parents?



Is it necessary for me for being sulking for not being able to go for family vacation?


What if they know how frustrated i am after being left for many times? 

It is because of the class schedule that overrated and i hated it because i can't do any truancy since i was child as both my parents are teachers.

I think i had sacrificed my passion enough for the sake of my parents though.

I stopped dreaming of becoming an architecture or an artist, and stepped out of the fantasy, and allowing myself to learn biotechnology.  

What is biotechnology anyway? o.O

And i hold my guts NOT to learn biotechnology engineering which i thought i would prefer that much more than learning theories in biotechnology here in Kuantan. 

Why? Because my mom would never ever allow me to stay in Gombak. The biotechnology engineering is in Gombak campus. 

And i kept telling myself it is alright it is okay it is the best for you as Allah want you to be ONLY here, near to your parents.

And if there are programs that successful to drag me in, i would consider my parents too.

If they knew that i would never ever can join any family vacation, i think they should let me go to any programs i wanted to go so much.

Isn't that fair enough?




I don't know.



And this me growing up with frustrated in my heart.




And this is me that being born as a rebellious and stubborn young girl that loves to do everything on her own.





If only you could understand, i would stop being me.

Parents Are The Paradise and Hell of the Children

Assalamualaikum all :-)

I pray all are in good eman and health.Alhamdulillah for all that we have been blessed with.Each breathe a great mercy from Allah ta'ala.

Amongst the many favors and blessings from Allah ta'ala, the one most importa
nt is that He has given us parents, our beloved parents who have done all that they can for us since the time we are born to our old age even (with only death parting us).

For the many sacrifices they have made for us, and like the many rights we demand from them,they too have rights over us.

The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has laid stress on the rights of parents and duties of children, in the same way as he has stressed the rights of children and the duties of parents.

To be obedient to parents and to show kindness to them has been enjoined along with the Oneness and Worship of Allah, in the Holy Qur'an, in such a manner that it appears that among human deeds, to obey parents and treat them with respect and kindness is next only to Divine Worship.

The Qur'an says, in Sura Bani Israail: "Your Lord (The Creator) has ordained that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to the parents."

Parents Are the Paradise and Hell of the Children

In a hadeeth the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said that the parents of a person are his Heaven or Hell.

This shows that if a person obeys his parents and attends to their needs and comforts and keeps them happy, he will attain Paradise. On the other hand, if he is rude and disobedient to them and offends them by ignoring their feelings or by causing them grief in any other way, his place shall be in Hell.

Pleasing the Parents Causes Allahs Pleasure

Anyone who seeks to please Allah should earn the good pleasure of his parents. To keep the parents well pleased is essential since their anger and displeasure will lead to Allahs anger and displeasure.

The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "In the good pleasure of the father lies the good pleasure of the Creator and in his displeasure, lies the displeasure of the Creator."

Here the mother has not been mentioned, but, according to many other ahaadeeth, the right of the mother with regard to service and kind treatment is even higher than that of the father. Therefore, her pleasure or displeasure will carry an equal significance.

Curse For Not Looking After Aged Parents

The time that the parents need to be looked after most carefully is in their old-age, and to serve them devotedly in that state is most pleasing to Allah and it is an easy way to attain Paradise.

Abu Hurairah (R.A.) relates that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "May he be disgraced, may,he be disgraced, may he be disgraced." "Who?" The Sahaaba enquired. "The person whose parents, or any one of them, attain old-age during his life-time and he does not earn Paradise (by being kind-hearted and dutiful to them)!"

Therefore, anyone who gets an opportunity to serve his parents in their old-age and does not avail himself to it (to attain Paradise), undoubtedly, he is a most wretched person.


The Mothers Claim Is Greater

Abu Hurairah (R.A.) narrates that a person asked the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam "Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother, and again your mother, and once again your mother. After her, is the claim of your father, then that of your near relations, and then of the relations next to them." This, obviously, shows that where care and kind treatment are concerned, the claim of the mother is greater than that of the father.

It appears to be the same in the Qur'an too.In many instances, the pain and the suffering which the mother has to bear during pregnancy, at childbirth, and in the bringing-up of the children, has been mentioned along with the emphasis of expressing kindness to parents.

Paradise Lies At the Mothers Feet

In one hadeeth the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has clearly stated that a persons Paradise lies at his mothers feet. By serving her well and being obedient to her, one can attain Paradise.

In some other ahaadeeth the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has explained that serving the mother, the maternal aunt and maternal grandmother, are among the acts by whose piousness, even the repentance of a great sinner and evil-doer is accepted and he is forgiven.

Treatment Towards Polytheist Parents

If anyones parents are polytheists, and they want him to follow their faith, he should refuse, but he should continue to be kind and respectful to them.

Asma bint Abu Bakr (R.A.) relates that her mother had come to Madinah, from Makkah, to meet her. Her mother followed the Pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma (R.A.) enquired from the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam as how she was to treat her whether she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a Pagan, or treat her like a daughter should, and show kindness to her. The Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her as was a mothers due, from a daughter.

Parents Rights After Their Death

The rights of parents do not come to an end with their death. In fact, some of their rights take effect after their death, and it is a religious obligation for the children to fulfill them.

As explained before, obeying ones parents and treating them with respect and affection is great virtue - and atones for ones sins. Similarly, to ask Allah to have mercy on them after their death, is an act which brings comfort to them in their graves and serves to atone for ones sins.

After the death of ones parents among other duties, should be to pray for their forgiveness and treat their relatives and friends with due respect.

Abu Usaid Saidi (R.A.) relates that a person came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and asked him "O Prophet of Allah, are there some rights of my parents, on me, which I have to fulfill even after they have died?" "Yes" the Prophet replied, "These are to pray for mercy and forgiveness on their behalf, to fulfill the promises they have made to anyone, to pay due regard to the bonds of relationship from their side and to be respectful to their friends.

In the Qur'an, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the verse. And say, "Mv Lord. Have mercy on both of them, as they cared for me when I was little."

Advantages of Obedience to Parents

The real reward for serving the parents, with great attention, is Paradise and the pleasure of Allah. But the Almighty bestows a special favor, in this world too, on the believer who fulfills the parents rights devotedly.

Jabir (R.A.) reports that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "Allah prolongs the life of a person who obeys his parents and serves them devotedly."

In another hadeeth, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is reported to have said, "Obey your parents and treat them with kindness, your children will be kind and obedient to you.

Great Sin For Disobeying the Parents

Just as the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam declared, that serving ones parents well is an act of great virtue, he condemned the showing of disobedience to them, or harming them, as a most serious and detestable sin.

When asked about the major sins, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam replied." To associate anyone with Allah, to disobey the parents, to kill unlawfully and to give false evidence."

The above-mentioned acts have been condemned as Akbarul-Kabaair i.e the most serious of the major sins. The order in which the Prophet said them, shows that the disregard of parents rights is next, only, to Polytheism (Shirrk) and it is even more serious than murder.

The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "To abuse ones parents is also a major sin."

He was asked "Can anyone abuse his parents?"

"Yes," the Prophet replied,

"If a person abused someone elses parents and that person, in retaliation, abused his parents, - then it is as though he himself had abused his parents."

We can imagine, from this, what an important place respect for parents occupies in the moral and social teachings of Islam, and how careful one should be about it.

Remember the ummah in dua'as. JazakumuaAllahu khayran. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

copied from Halima Bagha, Islam in My Veins

Ammar

ammar  bermaksud memakmurkan dan kuat iman.

adik saya nama ammar. muhammad 'ammar bin yusof.

umur amar 16 tahun. tahun depan bakal ambil spm.

saya sangat sayang dekat adik saya yg seorang ini tapi....

tapi saya risau sebab amar sedang membesar.

saya risau sebab amar seorang lelaki yang susah nak luahkan masalah dan perasaannya dekat orang lain. kami kakak2 ini mahu sangat menjadi pendengar yang baik untuk amar tapi amar selalu tak cerita. lagipun saya selalu takda dekat rumah. and sekarang amar dah masuk asrama. saya jadi sangat sangat risau. eh ke macam over je saya ni nak risau macam ni?

sebab risaukan amar jadi saya akan beri segala apa yang amar minta dekat saya. belikan jersey, t-shirt, seluar, boxer, joystick, aiskrim, selipar and even benda-benda remeh macam topup.

kadang2 bila amar masuk bilik and nak borak2, masa tu saya tengah busy nak tulis blog. kadang2 bila amar ajak tengok bola malam2, saya pulak busy nak bergayut. kadang2 bila saya masuk bilik amar, amar tengah main game. takpun amar tengah dengar lagu. memang tak sempat nak bercerita. amar pun selalu keluar rumah lepak dengan kawan2 dia. 

sedih rasanya bila fikir balik.

dulu masa sekolah saya paling rapat dengan amar. semua cerita saya amar tawu. semua cerita amar saya tawu. tapi sekarang? mungkin sebab faktor umur yang dah meningkat amar jadi makin tertutup. eh tapi tak jugak. amar selalu macam nak cerita sesuatu dekat saya. tapi rasanya amar memang tak boleh nak luahkan. sebab saya pasti amar pun menerima penangan yang sama yang saya terima atas kes keluarga yang kami tak terluah itu.

saya dah takda masa nak lluangkan dengan adik2. boleh tak hari ni saya nak duduk bila dyorg lama2 and bual2 lama2? rindu.

the same goes to imran. adakah saya dah membelakangkan adik2 saya yg lelaki2 ni?




tak patut kan saya buat macam tu.




imran mungkin agak expressive tapi amar ni less expressive.

dulu pun masa baru pindah kajang saya ingat lagi amar cerita dekat saya pasal sekolah dia dan memang masa tu saya nangis macam orang gila. masa amar kena marah dengan umi and abah, amar hanya boleh luah dekat saya je sebab kak ji takda masa tu. and kemudian amar membesar sebagai seorang anak lelaki yang penyimpan. and teringat pada satu masa dulu, saya, kakji dan amar pernah nangis beramai2 mengenangkan nasib kami.

dan dulu, amar suka wrestling tangan dengan saya, masing2 nak tunjuk sapa kuat. tapi amar ni pun selalu tiba2 tumbuk saya. memang perlahan bagi seorang lelaki tapi lebam bagi seorang perempuan. haha.

ya Allah, biarlah amar tahu yang betapa kami sangat menyayanginya. takda yang terkurang. dan ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa ku ini andai aku pernah termarah atau terkasar dengan amar.

Kau jadikanlah amar anak laki yang soleh terhadap umi dan abah. Kau jadikanlah amar anak yang berguna di dunia dan akhirat.

ameen ya rabbal alamin.

ammar and imran

ammar and kak ji

ammar nak tunjuk biceps lettuw kan

tu tu ammar kat sebelah umi


=)

Losing Euphoria

i'm not that happy now. why?

basically maybe the pms thingy that makes me so weak. but the truth is, there are probably so lots of reason that cause me gone so stress now.

health condition
1) my flabby body. haven't been exercising for so long. and not doing adrenaline rush activities for so long such hiking and running for miles?
2) my face. why on earth the pimples suddenly start to appear? i'm hating it so much. it give my face aches. need to but dalacin-t somewhere.
3) my mouth. i've got 5 ulcers. but alhamdulillah they are getting better. but still i can feel the pain after i brush my teeth. the infection grows from my throat to my ears and to my teeth and it effects my head that gives painful headache.

emotional condition
1) what happens lately in my family really affect me now you know? and i'm hardly show it because i don't know how to. and because of keeping it inside my head, it turns to be a massive headache and emotional breakdown.
2) stress of being left? and you would get confuse who is actually the friend of yours and who's not. tired of pleasing people out. whatever.

relationship matters
1) this is about a guy. we always fight but the reason is so lame. or is it me who the only one who think the reason is lame? the reasons were such as late replying messages and some my silly mistakes. it got me nerve-wrecked really bad. and i'm about getting tired of having serious relationship with people. oh my.
2) this have to deal with a boy. it is two different persons between that guy and that boy. i don't know why but i'm tired of letting he throw stories of my bad to my friends whom he just met her only for a while.

psychological and mental breakdown
1) i moved to a room next to a not-so-nice room. but somehow, maybe there are reasons how we can end up there. maybe Allah want to make our inner self and spiritual more powerful. insyaAllah.
2) crisis between choosing my concentration. it is hard when all your beloved people get intervene in your decision making. feels like being intruded much? you want to take A, but your parents want you to take neither A. *kadang2 terfikir sampai bila hidup ini orang lain yang buat decision*

economical crisis
1) my plenty of money suddenly gone and gone! at first i was so surprised and frustrated about this. i'm not into shopping so much and i don't buy stupid things anymore but why on earth my money suddenly gone?! and i started to remember how much money i used during the holidays. taking my driving license and i pay for half of it. and repairing my laptop which costs a lot. and my salary diminished in a second because of puasa and raya celebration. but i think i used it vastly for managing baksis ? gosh. i spent a lot in padang besar. but not that much actually. oh my, where all my money gone?
2) oh my beloved maslin muntari and husna mustafa, please please after this no more lavish meals. huu so sad. but we need to save up for our future right?

outdoor activities
1) what do you feel when you are so excited to do your ever dreamed activities but suddenly your beloved people come to block your desire? startled huh? and believe me you will become so confuse on which one to choose.

and and and many moreeeee yang i dah tak larat nak tulis macam mana.

long list right?

but all of it does make sense of how not happy i am now.

=/

Lipid and Oil

i feel so blotted right now. gemuk.

how? 

because starting from last semester's final examination i started to quit exercising, while i can't stop eating because i used to eat so much to give me energy. 

then, living at home was like a heavenly heaven for me. i love to sleep. my biggest pleasure is sleeping. thanks, that pleasure get me over and overweight. aarghhhhh!

there are too much of __________ inside of my body. fill in the blank.

a) fats (of course!)

b) wind ?

c) toxinssss eeuwwwhhhh. erkkkk.

d) bacteria inside my intestine? maybe.

e) ulat cacing kerawit dalam perut? eh ke cacing pita?

f) cellulite? demmitt.

g) too much water? or less? i don't know.

h) too much undigested food?

i) and and etc

ughh. how? what to do? right now i am busy completing my 6 days syawal fasting. 

and please mahfuza, please start exercising. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee T.T

okay, goodnite fatgirl.

Muhasabah Malam #1

Muhasabah Cinta 

Wahai pemilik nyawaku

Betapa lemah diriku ini

Berat ujian dariMu

Ku pasrahkan semua pada-Mu

Tuhan baru ku sedar

Indah nikmat sihat itu

Tak pandai aku bersyukur

Kini ku harapkan cintaMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah

Mengalir berzikir di kidung doaku

Sakit yang ku rasa biar jadi penawar dosaku

Butir-butir cinta air mataku

Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku

Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini

Ya Ilahi muhasabah cintaku

Tuhan kuatkan aku

Lindungiku dari putus asa

Jika ku harus mati

Pertemukan aku denganMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah

Mengalir berzikir di kidung doaku

Sakit yang ku rasa biar jadi penawar dosaku

Butir-butir cinta air mataku

Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku

Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini

Ya Ilahi muhasabah cintaku

-Edcoustic-

Cinta kerna Mu ya Allah

BUAT AKU JATUH CINTA PADAMU,,

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Wahai kau yang kan menjadi pasangan tulang rusukku….
Dengan sebuah cinta tulus karena Illahi Robbi

bukan dengan harta atau parasmu..
bukan dengan buaian untaian kata-kata manismu..
bukan dengan perhatianmu padaku karena kau belum halal bagiku..

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan indahnya akhlak n budi pekertimu,
Melabuhkan cintamu pada Allah melebihi cintamu padaku..
Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu dengan ajak aku berlomba dalam sebuah kebaikan,
Teguh dengan jihad yang kau tegakkan berikan semangat berjuang menegakkan Islam.

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan Menjadi sosok pribadi tegar, menghadapi ujian kehidupan..
Ikhlas N sabar atas teguran yang Allah berikan.
Selalu ingatkan aku jika niat tulus mulai pudar
agar semakin menguatkan aku pada jalan istiqomah.

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan sikapmu yg Selalu merindui syahid di jalan Illahi.
Pantang bagimu berpaling dari hati Ya Robbul Izzati.
Tunjukkan bahwa dirimu menautkan hatimu pada Illahi.
agar tidak terjatuh dalam jurang cinta nafsu duniawi.

Buat aku jatuh cinta padamu,
Dengan cintaimu kepada Allah karena Dia adalah segalannya.
Kau buat dirimu mampu korbankanlah apa saja karenaNya.
Kau jadikan kecintaan pada Tuhan adalah yang utama,Kau mampu menderita demi kecintaanmu padaNya.

Ketika kecintaan itu hadir sebuah karunia indah bisa mendapatkannya… kecintaan kepada Allah adalah sebenar-benarnya cinta…
yang tulus ikhlas memberikan cinta tanpa berharap ia akan terbalaskan…
jika sebuah hubungan didasari kecintaan karena Allah maka ia akan
senantiasa indah…

Allah Berfirman Dalam Al-Quran:
“…Allah mencintai mereka dan
mereka pun mencintai-Nya
…”(Q.s. Al-Maidah 5:54).

Ya Allah, yang membolakbalikan
hati kami ,selama ini hamba memang tidak
pernah tau bagaimana rasanya mencinta.
Namun, hamba berharap bila cinta hadir menyapaku ,hamba tidak akan kehilangan
engkau.

Ya Allah, selama ini hamba hanya berharap semoga bisa mencintai orang yang memiliki cinta yang luar biasa kepada- MU.

Ya Allah, selama ini hamba juga berharap semoga bisa di cintai oleh orang yang bisa
mengarahkanku menuju keridhoan-MU.
Pintaku ya Allah izinkan hamba
memiliki rasa ini hingga ia menjadi
indah di dada kami tanpa
mengurangi rasa cinta kami
kepadaMU..Aamiin..

# dipetik drpd Istikharah Cinta Facebook

Book Review : The Language of Flowers

beautiful, absorbing and solitary. 

by vanessa diffenbaugh.

i love this book. so much. it is so lovely of about everything inside of it. 

and as a woman, i have a high tendency toward flowers. this book help me to recognize different types of flowers and their meaning based on victorian language of flowers. how captivating and sensible right? these are some of the meanings for the usual flowers in malaysia.

bougainvillea - passion

cactus - ardent love

red carnation - my heart breaks

chrysanthemum - truth

daisy - cheerfulness

dahlia - dignity

fern - sincerity

fuchsia - humble love

hibiscus - delicate beauty

lavender - mistrust

lily - majesty

mistletoe - i surmount all obstacles

moss - maternal love

red rose - love

pomegranate - foolishness

periwinkle - tender recollections

sounds nutty right? but, it seems really nice. 

victoria jones is a homeless orphan that kept moving in and out of foster family's houses. this book reveal her story towards finding her own self-esteem to face the world and not forget, love.

such a good book for a ready-to-overwhelm with flowers-mind. one of my favorite book ever.

=)

Abah

after a maghrib and hajat prayer, we sat together to recite yasin for imran's becoming upsr examination. and to my surprise, before abah began the yasin, he said something that touched my heart so well. he prayed to Allah and hoped that He will make ease all affairs and matters regarding our family. and i never heard that abah prayed like that before. and he even said the name of each one of us (his children) for about 3 times.

these have the explanation to the somber and gloomy atmosphere that my family had lately, regarding on too many things. that''s why abah pulled off his gut to said that, and i know it sounds bitter in his heart. he kept following the flow of everything and he is one of the toughest man i ever met in my life. 

despite kakji's tension on her english exam and push-on-working, imran's big exam, amar's faraway, and iqah's frustrated matter, i tried my best for not having any matter and problem so that abah and umi no need to kalut-kalut to think about me. 

and i was way less expressive now that before, as i am growing up and finds my own maturity to tackle with situations. all i can do is pray to Allah and hoping the best will be to this family. 

i am so sad and i feel uncomfortable for looking at abah's face expression and gesture every time problems arise. and i know that abah will always try his best to serve for the family although himself don't have the courage that much. he even ask for holiday from his work. and i hope that iqah will remember these hard times of abah and umi so that she would study hard for all of us.

abah, please be strong cause i know you will be stronger than any of us in my family. thank you so much abah, i love you! <3

Quick Events Review

a new semester is coming tomorrow. oh how i wish i can prolong this holidays. 3 months are too short and too fast.

what i had done for the past 3 months? thinking back that actually i have did many and many things and alhamdulillah my holiday is as meaningful as it should be. 

1. i worked as a kindergarten teacher in pusat asuhan tunas-tunas islam
2. i had finished my driving license and already got p license
3. my community service swied12 is a complete success
4. a month of ramadhan full of blessing
5. glorious raya celebration with beloved relatives
6. and and not forget the good examination result despite all the hurdles and hardships i faced last semester.

not that bad right? : )

6 Daisy with Cikgu Fuza

Baktisiswa Sciencess With Kedahan 2012

Raya celebration 2012

Unsaid

what you wanna do when all these years you felt that love is like hell and you believed that no one will ever love you sincerely until you die?

what you wanna do when you hated yourself for always giving up your life and everything in order to search for the perfect love to happen?

what you wanna do when suddenly you met a good guy and you used to like him and he said that he likes you too while actually you are having big tremendous fight with your loved one?

what you wanna do when all these years you are growing up as someone who believes that a good pious man is the only guy that can give you happiness in world and hereafter?

what you wanna do when you wanted soooo much to know the answer but you still can't get the answer although you already seek for many people?

what you wanna do when you realized that the good pious man is an easily-tempered guy and a kelantanese guy? (which my whole family don't like these kelantanese men)

what you wanna do when you are getting confused with yourself and you own ambitions throughout the ''thinking time''?

what you wanna do when you are asked by the man to wear purdah and jubah after you marry? and you realized how would you work with those clothes on your body? and you ever dreams of bungee jumping before.

what you wanna do when your mom actually tell you that you have to wait for the man to have career, car and house before he come membawa pinangan? which means many years. will you still contact the man throughout the years?

what you wanna do when your mom did said that quit any serious relationship at this university level, and be only friend with all guys so that you will know their true colours? but the man didn't allow it. and he even questioned why you approve some guys on facebook. and he even hated when guys keep posting on your wall. does this means that he loves you?

what you wanna do when your father told you that although the man want to marry you, he still cannot contact you privately. he can only come to your house to ask for merisik only. and he only can contact you if there is any serious deal or appointment only.

what you wanna do if the man will stop contacting you if only you get stop contact with all guys in your life? even your best male friends?

what you wanna do when you actually realized that your life would be such a mess and different from all you ever wanted before if you marry him? and even right now you can sniff the tense in you life when dealing with him?

what you wanna do when  yourself is saying NO but when you use your brain and your heart, the answer is totally mixed up?

what you wanna do when you wanna say no to him but you think of that there will no good man after this that will come to you and no one can ever bring you to jannah? oh gosh, how come you get to believe that this only man can bring you to good ending of life?

what you wanna do when you don't know why you are soooo gelojohly into him and actually you started to fall in love with him in a half conscious way?

what you wanna do when you realized that he start to control you and will get angry easily on you time after time? and he is not understanding of how busy you are and how professional you wanna be? 

and when you think back, that in university you are actually a busy woman that keep organizing thing and joining many extreme and commitment-need activities? and if you still with him, the bigger percentage would be you are not allowed to join those things?

will you leave him after those things i have had questioned you?

and you actually almost giving up this thing. and you know that the man should get a very reserved pious girl that will follow his rules and words rather than the extreme young-at-heart you that always arguing about almost many things with him. is it because you are a debater? i don't know.

and i almost reach up my points, but i don't know why i still reconsider him in my mind. 

i'd been having a not-so-serious relationship with a kelantanese man before, and i found out that is was tiring.  and actually, this later one is tiring also but it is a bit different because i didn't think too hard about this now, got many other problems at home.

please. please tell me what you wanna do when you are in my shoes. cause i wanna think about this again before it wounds up seriously in my life. 

will you leave him or just give the chance to this relation to happen?